Has COVID-19 brought up strong and unpleasant feelings for you? Here are some things I've heard from yoga teachers recently:
"I'm so stressed about money because I've lost so many of my classes in recent months. It feels really un-yogic to think about money all the time."
“The anger I'm feeling about this situation is so corrosive. It keeps bubbling up and I hate myself for it.”
“I know I'm supposed to live in the present moment, but I'm constantly worrying about my future as a yoga teacher."
At the heart of these statements lies the conviction that feeling stressed, worried or angry is a bad thing. It’s un-yogic. Where did so many of us get that idea? How did we come to believe that being a yoga teacher means vanquishing all feelings except that elusive ‘bliss’ state that only Instagram yogis seem to master?
The truth is, those big, hairy, uncomfortable feelings exist and our attempts to make them go away can end up causing bigger problems. The Dalai Lama is very clear on this point: “We cannot overcome anger and hatred simply by suppressing them.”
Telling yourself you ‘shouldn’t’ feel these emotions is counter productive because when you push those sensations away, you’re actually training yourself to numb out to ALL of your feelings. As you get better at suppressing your uncomfortable emotions, you end up feeling nothing at all. Joy, excitement empathy - your mind will stuff them all down because that's what you've trained it to do. Perhaps feeling nothing seems easier than having to experience those big, confronting thoughts. But there’s a very high price to pay as we become disconnected from our feelings, needs, bodies and relationships.
So, if we can’t make those unwelcome thoughts and feelings disappear, how do we deal with them? Yoga offers a two-fold approach.
Firstly, we learn to feel what we’re feeling – and tolerate those feelings without having to act on them. It’s ok to feel anger – allow yourself to notice how anger manifests in your body and breathing. You don’t need to suppress it or act out. Just be with the experience of feeling anger. This can take some practice, guidance and support. Those emotions are there for a reason and stuffing them down won’t make them go away. Learning how to experience and express them allows us to go through a process of ‘unburdening’, owning and then releasing the power behind the sensations.
Secondly, we cultivate qualities that act as an antidote to those difficult feelings. If you are experiencing anger, try cultivating compassion. If you are feeling hatred, cultivate love. If you’re experiencing disgust, cultivate patience and tolerance. This is a very empowering process as it means you actually get to choose the way you want to feel, rather that being hijacked by feelings that seem beyond your control.
These approaches can take time and you’ll certainly benefit from the guidance of an experienced yoga teacher. But you can start right now. When those intense emotions show up, notice how they make you feel and take a moment to be aware of what happens in your body and mind when they arise. Do you hold your breath? Do parts of your body tense up? How do you feel like acting out? Just notice.
Take some time each day, when you’re feeling calm, to cultivate the qualities that are the antidote to these strong, painful emotions. Perhaps you can practice a Loving Kindness meditation to cultivate compassion. You could create a practice that helps you experience more confidence, patience, self-acceptance or whatever qualities you need in order to build the resilience to meet each emotion as it arises. And that’s when the transformation happens - when you can welcome feelings as they arrive, experience them authentically, and then choose how to respond. That’s when we are liberated from the destructive power those emotions once held over us.
You'll be living in an authentic way that is aligned with your values as a yoga teacher - not suppressing and feeling guilty about your 'un-yogic' thoughts. That means you'll have more empathy, compassion and self-management skills to share with your students. And there's nothing more yogic than that.
Need some inspiration? Get a free Loving Kindness (Metta) Meditation script PLUS bonus guided meditation audio.